Mildred recommends...
BEST INSTRUMENTS OF PENANCE!
ST. DIDLEY'S RELIGIOUS ACCESSORIES
 
Are you unable to shake off that "DIRTY" feeling despite having confessed your sins to The Creator?  Perhaps a little self-flagellation is all you need!  At ST. DIDLEY'S RELIGIOUS ACCESSORIES, you can join the legions of saints and visionaries who have turned their eyes toward Heaven, setting their skin aflame with the cleansing sting of whips, riding crops and thorny paddles!  If your sins are of the darker variety, you may want to try the St. Didley Mediaeval Sling or bed of nails (tyrants, traitors and madmen will find this especially refreshing!)

In addition to an impressive array of whips, cattle prods and rubberized jumpsuits, ST. DIDLEY'S RELIGIOUS ACCESSORIES carries a charming selection of fragrant sachets and cuckoo clocks that are sure to delight!

A quick stroll through this quaint little shop will remind you how despicable and immoral our society has become.  And did I mention our nephew Osbert's girlfriend, Jessica works there?  Osbert says she can advise you on all your self-flagellation needs and, for a small additional fee, will teach you how to beg for forgiveness!

ST. DIDLEY'S RELIGIOUS ACCESSORIES
2634 West Proctor Mews 
Pasadena, CA 91105
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